Thursday, November 1

The Daleks' Master Plan Part 10/12: Escape Switch

It is ANCIENT EGYPT and Steven and Sara have stumbled upon the Doctor's TARDIS in this cavey, tomby place. Coincidentally, it is also the place the Doctor and the Monk had an as-of-yet unnamed showdown, where the Doctor went a little batshit. Dunno where either the Monk and the Doctor are right now, but there's a mummy emerging from a sarcophagus so that's almost definitely one or the other of them. Also there are Daleks kicking around somewhere with their homie Mavic Chen. It's all happening. Crazy shit going down. Etc.

Sara notices the mummy and goes a little pale; Steven remains wonderfully level-headed and goes over and just unwraps the bandages to reveal the MONK, who is grateful to be unravelled. He tells them how mental the Doctor went and how all he wanted to do was to warn them about the Daleks. Steven and Sara look at him suspiciously and ask him where the Doctor went. The Monk says he doesn't know, he's innocent in all this, he just popped to Egypt for a bit of sightseeing; the others ignore him and wonder whether they should go find the Doctor or just wait there for him to come back.

STEVEN: Well then, what do we do? Go out again and take a chance on missing him? Or just stay here?
SARA: If he meets the Daleks, he will need our help.
MONK: Stay here. Definitely. I've... got a terrible headache.
STEVEN: What happens if we meet them?
SARA: We'll just have to take that chance.
MONK: No doubt the Doctor has got some - drug or other?
STEVEN: All right, we'll go, but I won't even pretend that I like the idea.
MONK: Maybe you guys should give me the TARDIS key and I'll wait in there just in case he comes back? And I can look for, um, medicine. For my headache.

Steven tells the Monk to STFU, they couldn't let him into the TARDIS even if they wanted to cos the Doctor is the only one with a key. The Monk is disappointed and grudgingly agrees to join them on the Doctor hunt.

Because Steven is a little slow, he rushes outside and immediately starts shouting the Doctor's name. Obviously, there are other people hanging around, namely Mavic Chen and the Daleks, and they have ears too. It doesn't take long before the Daleks descend on the gang, and the Monk tries to talk his way out of the situation by saying that they shouldn't kill him because he has fulfilled his part of the bargain! Mavic Chen holds out a sassy little hand for the Taranium core and the Monk says that he doesn't have the Taranium core, exactly, but he did bring along some hostages!

Steven calls bullshit, but Mavic Chen figures that this could work! The Doctor would definitely swap the Taranium for the lives of his little human friends, so they have a new plan! The Monk congratulates himself on his mad thinkin' skillz.

They're all herded over to the Daleks' time machine, and the Daleks wheel around setting up this long-range loudspeaker so they can taunt the Doctor out of hiding. Meanwhile, the Monk sidles up to Steven and Sara and tries to make small talk. Steven and Sara are understandably incredulous at this, but the Monk is all, 'You're welcome for me saving your lives just now, jeez.' He has so much nerve, it's brilliant. I think I like him.

Mavic Chen heads on over to the loudspeaker and makes the appropriate threatening statements about what'll happen to the companions should the Doctor fail to show up with the Taranium. The Doctor, who wears a hat now (hats are c--no, I can't do it, I'm sorry), hears this and has a little think.

It doesn't take him long to make a decision; he pops right on over to where the Daleks are hanging out and tries to negotiate with them. The Daleks are pretty fucking desperate for that Taranium, as they don't exterminate the shit out of him when he's obnoxious and annoying - instead, they agree to the Doctor's terms, which are to bring the prisoners and meet at the corner of the Great Pyramid.

So that happens, and the Doctor makes the handover as dramatic and irritating as possible. Mavic Chen gets the Taranium, and all of a sudden the Egyptian locals, who've been kicking around a little throughout the course of the episode, descend on the Daleks and start attacking them. Most of them get exterminated no problem, but the one of them falls down dead right in front of a Dalek. The other Egyptians see this and just build a little circle of bricks around the edge of the Dalek so it can't move. Brilliant.

While the Daleks are getting embarrassed over their fatal flaw, the Doctor, Steven and Sara meet up in the tomb where the TARDIS is. The Doctor breaks the news that, actually, he just gave Mavic Chen the real Taranium because there wasn't time to make a better plan, so the last nine episodes were completely pointless. But! He also stole the directional unit from the Monk's TARDIS! They can decide where they want to go now! This is VERY EXCITING NEWS.

The Monk is less pleased with this development. He's just discovered that his TARDIS now looks like a police box so the Daleks are going to follow him through time if anything goes wrong with the Taranium, and also when he dematerialises he ends up on a PLANET OF ICE, which is definitely not where he wanted to be. There's a dramatic moment where he looks up to the sky, shakes his fist and does a 'DOCTORRRRR!' shout, which made me laugh. Probs won't be seeing him again any time soon, is my point.

In the Doctor's TARDIS, the Doctor casually mentions that there's actually a very slim chance of the Monk's directional unit being compatible with their TARDIS. There are two ways this could go, he says. One, everything will be fine and they can programme in where they want to go and it's all lovely. But also two, the more likely option, everything is going to explode. So.

With this in mind, he cheerfully switches the TARDIS engines on and fires that bad boy up. Three guesses what happens.

Gonna try and watch an episode a day for the whole of November, something that I'm almost positive will not last the entire month, but chances are I'll see you tomorrow and Saturday so we can FINALLY BE DONE WITH THIS SERIAL OH MY GOD.


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