Wednesday, October 31

The Daleks' Master Plan Part 9/12: Golden Death

So the TARDIS has started bouncing through time and everyone's having a lot of fun. I don't really know what their goal is, exactly; Sara wants to go back to Kembel and blow everything up, but, like... they can't control where the TARDIS goes. So.

The DALEKS, however, they've got time travel down, so they're sending off a time machine (with Mavic Chen in it) to follow the TARDIS around the time-space continuum. The first place the TARDIS stops is Egypt next to some pyramids. The lock on the TARDIS door is still a bit dodgy, so the Doctor wants to fix that before they do anything else. Steven is put on lookout duty so he can keep an eye out for the Monk's TARDIS following them (so the Monk can control his? Just nick that one, Doctor, surely. Or, if it's not the TARDIS that is the problem, learn how to DRIVE IT).

And lo and behold, after five minutes on the lookout, Steven sees something! We lucky viewers are fully aware that the thing Steven is looking at isn't a meddlin' Monk, but is in fact a Dalek ship, but obviously adorably slow Steven takes a few minutes to reach the same conclusions.

STEVEN:  Well, it didn't work this time, did it?
SARA:  What hasn't?
STEVEN:  The Monk's TARDIS. It usually blends in with it's surroundings like the Doctor's should.
SARA:  Maybe the Monk didn't bother this time.
STEVEN: Also the Monk seems to be dressed as a Dalek, I wonder what that's about? Do you reckon there's a costume party? It is Halloween.

Steven and Sara, once they figure out this little logic puzzle, rush to go tell the Doctor about their new visitors. But alas! Before they can do that they are brutally attacked by some Egyptian locals. Sara, bless her, tries really hard to take them down, but she's knocked out before she can start shooting everything.

But then the locals see Mavic Chen and the Daleks and assume that they're all part of the same group of intruders. They go to attack them, and the Daleks obviously waste no time in killing them all. There's a good bit of dialogue that actually makes me appreciate the Daleks as an enemy for once:

DALEK 1:  Did we sustain damage?
DALEK 2:  No. It was only inhabitants of this time and planet.
DALEK 3:  Unimportant.
DALEK 2:  Exterminate them on sight.

Oooh. Chilling. Meanwhile, the Monk finally shows up. The Doctor sees his TARDIS land (in the shape of a big pyramid brick, cos it has a chameleon circuit that actually works), and realises that the ship that he heard land a while ago must have been DALEKS! Oh no! Shit! Curses! Gosh and golly!

But instead of doing anything about this, the Doctor just casually follows the Monk - who has emerged from his TARDIS in the middle of ancient Egypt wearing MIRRORED SUNGLASSES I shit you not.

The shades aren't giving the Monk a lot of luck, though; he runs into Mavic Chen and the Daleks pretty quickly. The Daleks are all ready to exterminate the crap out of him, but Mavic Chen stops them. Pretty coincidental to have three time machines all landing in the same spot, Mavic Chen says, so chances are you know the dude we're after, amirite? The Monk is all, 'Well, 'know' is a pretty strong word,' but Mavic Chen charges him with becoming BFFs with the Doctor and tricking him out of the Taranium anyway. The Monk eyes the Daleks a little before agreeing that he can definitely do that, yeah.

The Monk then goes back to his TARDIS to grab an energy tracker so he can find the Doctor and his homebros, and then when he leaves again, the Doctor (who has been watching him the whole time) creeps right on in to the Monk's TARDIS, switches the outside to look like a 1960's police telephone box, then breaks off the chameleon circuit and wanders right back outside.

Meanwhile, Steven and Sara are tied up in some dusty room somewhere. Sara, because she's freakin' awesome, has found a bit of broken pottery to cut through their rope, and then shouts out to bring the guards into the room. The guards come in and she promptly dusts them off no problem. Steven is reminded of the sexy Drahvins and crosses his legs to avoid tenting.

The local Egyptians have moved the Doctor's TARDIS into a tomb, and the Monk (and the Doctor, who is following him) finds it with his little energy tracker device thing. The Doctor comes out from behind the doorway and is all, 'Oh, cool, my TARDIS! Thanks for leading me to it, bro!' The Monk laughs weakly and says that, you know, these things can actually change what they look like to fit with their surroundings and if you want, Doctor, we can both go inside your TARDIS and I can show you how to do that. The Doctor laughs in his face and says he saw the Monk with the Daleks. The Monk tries to play it cool.

MONK:  Do you know, I knew there was something I had to tell you. I've come here to warn you about the Daleks. I played them along their own game for quite a time but they don't like you, you know. They don't like you at all.
DOCTOR:  Why didn't you?
MONK:  What?
DOCTOR:  Warn me.
MONK:  Oh... well. You were talking at the time. I didn't want to interrupt.
DOCTOR: Well, shit, I'm convinced.

Instead of giving the Monk a nice little tour of the TARDIS, the Doctor instead... well, he goes a little mental, I dunno what to tell you. He starts brandishing his walking stick at the Monk and laughing manically. It's a little concerning for everyone involved, and the scene cuts away before you find out what he's up to. The Monk looks shit scared, though.

We're then back with Sara and Steven, who are kicking around the tomb entrance looking for the Doctor and the TARDIS. They find the TARDIS and figure, hey, the Doctor must be around here somewhere, so they start shouting his name, when all of a sudden the tomb lid opens and a bandaged hand emerges from inside. WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?

Clearly the BBC knew that I'd be watching this episode on Halloween. Good work on the time travel, there, Beeb.



  1. I love these blogs Lindsey, I'm so glad you write them. :D

  2. Another great post :)

    I realised that I had no memory at all (as opposed to the hazy, half formed blob memories your earlier posts dredged up) of any of this Dalek stuff from when I first watched One's run... quick check, and it turns out UK Gold, the channel I watched it on, couldn't afford the rights to any Dalek episodes.

    They had the entirety of Doctor Who on a continuous loop, but missed out all the Dalek eps completely. I feel robbed, but you'd probably have loved it. :)