The Daleks' Master Plan Part 5/12: Counter Plot

So in the previous episode, Blond Beard and Katarina got sucked out into space, Bret's friend Daxtar turned out to be (potentially) working for Mavic Chen (maybe) and got shot for his troubles, and Looks A Bit Like Vicki Sara Kingdom shot Bret while the Doctor and Steven ran away. A nice, fluffy, light-hearted episode where not much happened, then.

The Doctor and Steven - still running from the crazy lady with the gun - don't know that Bret has been wounded in action. They stumble on this weird room with a machine with mice inside it? The Doctor suggests that it's some kind of transmitter, and I dunno if it's just the novelty of seeing him actually move (this, along with episode 2 of this serial, have been the only surviving full episodes of season 3 so far), but apparently another of the room's powers is making Steven look a lot more attractive than usual. Not that he's ever unattractive, but. Is good.

In another science room elsewhere, two science dudes are doing some science. Their names are Froyn and Rhynmal and fucking hell, who cares about these stupid weird names. Calling them Frank and Raymond.

Frank and Raymond are in the middle of a "highly complicated experiment" when Borkar, the dude Sara Kingdom sent to look for Steven and the Doctor, bursts in and demands to know if they've seen anything weird. The science dudes politely tell him to piss off, and resume their work.

While Borkar is checking out various laboratories, Doesn't Mess About Sara Kingdom stalks right into the room where Steven and the Doctor are hanging out and makes it clear that she wants the Taranium back off them. Unfortunately, before she can finish brandishing her gun, the room goes mental. It apparently makes them enjoy themselves a little too much, which is all very well and good, but the Doctor's face looks like this:

Certainly not complaining about Sara Kingdom's, though.

OH, COOL. So the weird room that the Doctor and Steven (and now Sara) are in just so happens to be the site of the experiment that Frank and Raymond are doing and they all just got DISSEMINATED, which means they're being beamed light years across space to some random planet far far away.

After some really high-tech footage of the dissemination (lol nope), the Doctor and Steven wake up on Mira, another jungley planet. They try to wake up Sara, and succeed eventually, and also the viewer gets a cheeky insight to the fact that the inhabitants of Mira are invisible; the only sign of them moving around are these claw-like footprints.

Mavic Chen and his creepy head of security, Karlton, have another wankfest of a meeting where they talk about how cool they are, and they plan to tell the Daleks that shipping the fugitives and the buttload of Taranium to Mira was DEFINITELY ON PURPOSE. The Daleks (who are still kicking around, being mediocre as always) send a ship out to Mira to see what's what.

Don't Take No Shit From Nobody Sara Kingdom is trying to get the lowdown from the Doctor, who as usual is bullshitting his way through an explanation.

SARA: But how did we get here?
DOCTOR: Cellular dissemination.
SARA: Cellular what?
DOCTOR: To put it in... lay language, cellular dissemination means our bodies were broken up by some process or other, shot through into the fourth dimension and at a given point, reassembled again on this planet.
STEVEN: I don't know what at least half of those words mean.

The Doctor wanders off on his own to try and figure out where the hell they are, and Steven and Sara have a fight over the fact that Sara shot Bret (so I guess he's actually really dead, which sucks). Steven is really working the sexy dominant thing and Sara is giving as good as she gets and hot DAMN. Unfortunately, the Doctor reappears just before they start tearing each other's clothes off but THEN Sara reveals that Bret was in fact HER BROTHER and I genuinely just gasped aloud omg.

But also the Daleks have landed on the planet! They find the little box of mice and it scares them, so they blow it up. And then they find the Doctor, Sara and Steven and tell them they're surrounded. The Doctor, putting on a brave face for his worried companions, immediately tells them that the Daleks have won. Thanks, Doc, it's a real comfort to have you around.

Probably gonna be a bit of a gap between this post and the next one because I don't have internet right now (nobody noticed I skipped a post this week, right?) but I promise that I will not forget you, Classic Doctor Who. You're actually a lot better than the most recent series has been, so I remain loyal to you.

Fuck Reboot Who season 7, though, am I right?

Moosh