Saturday, March 29

The Gunfighters Part 2/4: Don't Shoot the Pianist

So! Steven and Dodo have been forced at gunpoint into their new professions of singer and pianist respectively, and three homicidal brothers and their similarly-homicidal mate are waiting to kill the Doctor, who they think is another guy whose name is Doc Holliday. The Doctor, who just had a tooth forcibly pulled out of his head because he bit into a toffee in slightly the wrong way, is on the way to the saloon where the homicidal cowboys and his musical companions are.

Also on the way to the saloon, though, is Kate, the singer in the bar and Doc Holiday's girlfriend. She rocks up into the club like something from a Ke$ha song, waves at the Clanton brothers to put their guns away, and demands to know why Steven is singing when that's her job. The barman, Charlie, nervously tells her that the Clanton brothers were just doing a thing, but she dismisses that as foolishness and tells Steven and Dodo to get away from the piano.

The Wild West seems to have made Dodo stupid, because she protests that she was having fun and doesn't want to stop? Okay never mind about all the guns pointed at you, Dodo. She gives in when Steven tells her to go upstairs, but then when Steven goes to follow her, Kate stops him and tells him (while holding a gun to his stomach) that he'll be playing the piano while she sings. Dodo, determined to be a big idiot this episode, goes off in a huff.

DODO: Well thank you and goodnight!
DODO: Well it's quite alright Steven, don't mind me! Just have a good time with your new friends!

So Dodo storms upstairs and Steven rocks it on the keys while Kate dances on the bar. I don't think she has any motive other than getting her groove on, because when the song has finished, the Doctor walks in, applauding, and tells Steven and Kate what a great little duo they make.

Seth Harper goes up to him and makes vaguely threatening remarks without straight up saying 'Yo we're going to shoot you dead, Doc Holliday,' and the Doctor seems to think that this is just how humans are pleasant to one another and happily asks Seth to get him a glass of milk, and also if he'd introduce the Doctor to the three cowboy dudes looming around him. Seth tells the Doctor that the cowboy dudes are actually the Clanton brothers, and the Doctor finally seems to realise that maybe he fucked up a little.

He still doesn't figure out the silly Doctor/Doc Holliday thing for another few minutes, and when he finally gets it and tells the Clanton brothers (and Seth) that they have the wrong Doctor, none of them believe him. Kate, weirdly, simultaneously tells the Clanton brothers that the Doctor IS Doc Holliday, and also helps the Doctor by lining all the Clantons (and Seth) up against the piano and taking their guns. Still not sure whose side she's on. Also, during this kerfuffle, Dodo comes out of her room to see what all the noise is, and the real Doc Holliday sneaks up the stairs, points a gun at her, and takes her back into her room. I'm displeased with where this could go.

Back downstairs, Sheriff Masterson and Good Guy Wyatt Earp have walked in. The Sheriff doesn't have a clue what's happening so just confiscates everyone's guns to make himself feel better - Wyatt Earp seems to be the only one who understands the situation (I think?) and tells the Doctor he's going to have to arrest him, and they leave the saloon.

When they reach the jail, they put the Doctor in the cell and Wyatt Earp fills the Sheriff in on everything. They both seem to think the Doctor is a good guy, but refuse to let him out of the cell for his own safety because most of the town thinks he's some crazy killer cowboy dude.

Back upstairs at the Last Chance Saloon, Doc Holliday has locked himself in a room with Dodo, but thankfully doesn't seem to have any sinister motives towards her because he's just ignoring her, occasionally telling her to chill out when she asks what the deal is. Kate of the Ambiguous Morals joins them and is similarly dismissive when Dodo tries to find out what's going on. Doc Holliday's solution is to... play cards with them? And then he really, really wants a drink so he sneaks past the murderous brothers downstairs to go back to his office at the dental surgery to fetch a bottle of whiskey, leaving Dodo with Kate.

Wyatt Earp, still apparently the only character who makes sense, is waiting for him there. They have a big old chat, and Wyatt Earp tells him to leave the town Or Else. The conversation lasts about three minutes, but that's the gist of it. Meanwhile, Steven has been left at the bar with the Clantons, and somehow they're convincing him to break into the jail where the Doctor is being kept? And Steven is responding in a way that could either be super sarcastic or just pretty thick, so I don't really know whether he's buying it.

IKE: You take this gun up to the Jailhouse and slip it through the cell window to Holliday.
BILLY: And he says, "Open the door or I'll shoot!"
STEVEN: Uh-huh. And where do you guys come in?
IKE: We wait outside the Jailhouse in case anything goes wrong.
PHINEAS: Yeah, so we can prevent a miscarriage of justice!
BILLY: To welcome him back to society.
STEVEN: Oh! Not to gun him down?
IKE: Why would we do a thing like that? You say he ain't Holliday - okay, he's got nothin' to fear! What do ya say?
STEVEN: It sounds like a pretty foolproof idea!

Either way, Steven heads out of the saloon and one of the Clanton brothers (Phineas) follows him.

Back upstairs, and in a stunning nod to the Bechadel test, Dodo is doing Kate's hair and they're talking about boys. Kate is saying how she wants to marry Doc Holliday and she thinks maybe he's going to settle down after his life of crime. Before Dodo can chime in with how cute she thinks cowboys are, Doc Holliday walks in and tells Kate to pack a bag because they're leaving town, as per Wyatt Earp's instructions.

Dodo is all, "Hey yo dudes where do I fit into your plan of running away into the night, being your captive and all?" and before Doc Holliday can give her a good answer, Kate looks out of the window and sees a BLOODTHIRSTY MOB that the Clanton brothers seem to have gathered in the last few minutes, with Steven (who Phineas grabbed and brought back) tied up on a horse as some kind of bait for the Doctor.

DODO: They've got Steven!
DOC HOLLIDAY: They've got my operating chair! Wait here!

So Doc Holliday goes downstairs while Kate shouts after him. Seth Harper is hanging back in the saloon for one last drink before he joins the crazy mob party, and hears Kate call Doc Holliday 'Doc'. He does a double-take, and asks Doc Holliday if he's the real actual Doc Holliday. Doc Holliday says, yup, that's him, and shoots Seth dead. Charlie, the timid barman, is a mess by this point.

Kate and Dodo run downstairs after hearing the shot and Doc Holliday tells Kate to run and saddle up three horses, cos they have to get out of town ASAP and they're taking Dodo with them. For some reason.

The mob finally arrives at the jailhouse where the Doctor is being held. Sheriff Masterson and Wyatt Earp are there, and open the Doctor's cell so he can peer out of the door with them. Ike Clanton shouts in that if they don't send the Doctor out in two minutes, then they're going to kill Steven. What a gosh-darned tricky situation.

This episode was a tough one to get through, which is why it's taken so long to get this post up. This serial is rocking a 5/10 at the moment, but we'll see how it goes. Two more episodes left! Catch ya later, partners.


No comments:

Post a Comment