The Ark Part 4/4: The Bomb

WHAT UP, WHOVIANS. We rejoin the action with the Doctor and Dodo stuck on the planet Refusis, a planet very much like Earth in temperature, atmosphere, water levels, and celebrity culture (that one was a lie), and thus it has been chosen by ex-Earth inhabitants as a place they wanna be, because their old planet was swallowed by an expanding sun (like that episode of the ninth Doctor's! Still happy about that). Steven is back up on the spaceship known as the Ark, where giant lizard creatures called Monoids have taken charge, and the remaining humans (whom I have affectionately termed 'newmans') are working as slaves. The original plan of the newmans, Monoids and Refusians living in peace on Refusis does not look like it's going to go ahead.

Up on the Ark, the Monoids - who just heard the Monoid on Refusis start a report and then get blown up - contemplate the wisdom of moving their entire population to a planet that is potentially filled with enemies. But it could just be a communications error! And before he got cut off, the Monoid on the planet sounded happy and stuff, so. They're just going to send everyone down and hope for the best. And also they've planted a bomb in the top of the statue, so once all the Monoids are safe on Refusis, they're going to blow up the Ark and all of the humans! There's a lot of evil lizardy laughter following this announcement.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Dodo are having a chat with a Refusian they've befriended. It seems logic is not going to play a huge part in this episode - the Refusians were the ones to blow up the shuttle, because they don't want any violence. The Doctor tells him that the newmans who wanted to kill them are peaceful, like the Refusians, and the Monoids are the only problem here. But also there are a couple of newmans who want to overthrow the Monoids! The Refusian says, ah okay, in that case he'll give the newmans a whole day to overthrow the Monoids before they shoot the Ark out of the sky. The Doctor is relieved by this? And says that Steven will definitely take care of it and sort out the situation, even though Steven has absolutely no way of finding out about what's happening on the planet. I don't understand ANY of this.

Luckily, Steven IS planning a revolution, because Steven is a dashing man of action. The kitchen he's trapped in - there's only one door, and it only opens from the outside. But he has a plan: when one of the newman servants who works obediently for the Monoids comes into the kitchen to pick up food, he will distract them with his sexy manly wiles and Dassuk will sneak out and open the door for all of them when it locks again!

Look at those sexy manly wiles go. Hot dang.

But! Before any havoc can be wrought, all the Monoids take off for Refusis! Steven and the newmans (which, by the way, is an excellent name for a band) are left alone on the Ark, which is a good thing, but also there is this bomb that's scheduled to go off in twelve hours, and none of them knows where it is, which is kind of a bad thing.

Logic loses once again in this episode, as the Doctor and Dodo are suddenly out in the jungle, watching from behind a tree as the Monoids land. The Monoids talk loudly of how if this planet doesn't work out, there's still time to get back to the Ark before that bomb they planted goes off - obviously the Doctor and Dodo overhear this and comment on how much of a ridiculous thing to say it was and seem to brush it off. Then, when the Monoids wander off deeper into the jungle, the Doctor and Dodo sneak into one of the unlocked space shuttles, and ring the Ark.

The newmans, who have made it to the control room on the Ark, see that they have an incoming transmission from one of the space shuttles. It could only be from one of the Monoids, and obviously the newmans are supposed to be trapped in a room on the other side of the ship, so obviously they answer the call.

DOCTOR: This is Refusis, contacting spaceship Ark.
STEVEN: It’s the Doctor! Hello, Doctor, this is Steven.
DOCTOR: Oh, thank heavens, Steven my boy, you’re safe. Now listen: the Ark is about to blow up!
STEVEN: We know that. Do you know where the bomb is?
DOCTOR: No I do not, but I’m going to find out from the Monoids. Now, continue with the search!
STEVEN: ... well, good, thanks. Well worth the cost of a phone call, that one, Doc. Brilliant.

The Doctor hangs up and then instructs the Refusian (who is apparently there too!) to fly the shuttles back to the Ark while the Doctor goes talking to the Monoids. The Refusian gets right on that, and when the Monoids come rushing back to see where their spaceships are going, the Doctor happily tells them that he doesn't know! He hasn't seen ANYBODY since he landed on this planet! (It's because the Refusians are invisible.) (He's very proud of himself.)

The Doctor and Dodo get taken away by the Monoids to be questioned, whereupon they obviously hear all the details about the bomb because the Monoids just reiterate all the information of the episode thus far to one another. Up on the Ark, the bomb hunt is not going well, so the newmans decide to split up so half of them can go down to Refusis and help? I dunno what they're supposed to be helping with, but this episode is not an episode for logic, as we have learned.

So, the newmans head down to the planet and run into the Doctor; the Doctor tells them that he knows where the bomb is! Let's all head back up to the bomb that's gonna explode soon! He rings ahead to tell Steven that, hello Steven, how're things, yeah, the bomb is in the massive statue BE THERE SOON GOOD LUCK LOL. Steven and the newmans all gather around the statue looking helpless, but then the voice of the Refusian appears being all, 'I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT,' and then the statue starts, like, being dragged across the floor. Apparently the solar flare that his the Refusians was the same thing that got the Fantastic Four crew because, like, shit.

The Refusian drags it to the launching bay and blasts it off into space before it explodes, so that's one plot point we've got out of the way, there! Now all they have left to take care of are the murderous lizards. Cool.

Aaaand they achieve that by... just saying that the two species will make peace? I, um, don't think that's how this kind of stuff works. Or if it is can someone just hop over to the dozens of war zones on present-day Earth and let them know. And the Doctor, Steven and Dodo just leave! Okay, well, quick resolution there, but. No logic in this episode. I don't know why I keep expecting it.

But then! Inside the TARDIS, everything seems to be going fine (Dodo has changed into a new outfit and Steven gets really close to her before he compliments it) and then the Doctor sneezes and... turns... invisible? Dodo thinks this might have something to do with the Refusions, but then InvisiDoctor says no! They are UNDER ATTACK.

I've heard that the next serial is a good one, so I look forward to sharing that with you. Maybe there will be storylines that make sense in it. We can but hope. :D

Moosh